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[TRC] Music Meme #3

Yet another music meme, as a break from writing F&F. Theme of the day was initially Kurogane, and I'm not sure how strictly I stuck to that. XD;

1. Lou Reed; Perfect Day

Perfect days were few and far between. If you had asked him when they first met, Kurogane would have told you that any day with the mage in it had no chance of being perfect. And if he’d said it out loud, in Fai’s hearing, the mage would have mourned loud and long about Kuro-wan’s cruelty, but quietly, to himself, he would have agreed.

Perfect days are still, in Kurogane’s opinion, few and far between. But even on the worst of days, each other’s presence is what makes things bearable.

2. Staind; Can’t Believe

There are too many things to say, and Kurogane can’t say any of them; whether with fury or simple unease, the mage always leaves him dumbstruck.

3. Deftones; Change (In the House of Flies)

There is a tree in the garden that Kurogane likes to sit beneath, when it’s warm and calm and he thinks he can get away with it. On days like this, the kids are elsewhere, picking berries with the pork bun for all he knows, and he doesn’t worry about them so much any more because the kid has a will of iron and the princess, under Tomoyo-hime’s watchful eye, could never come to harm.

There is a particular root that he likes to lean against, to close his eyes and bask in the sun, and this is the root that the mage slings both arms over, resting his cheek against the bark, his blue eyes close and warm, but not yet as warm as the day, and Kurogane can only ever think that he’s glad he had the chance to see the change, to watch the most infuriating person he’s ever met transform into the most transfixing.

4. Ben Folds; Philosophy

There are moments, when the mage is cavorting around the room like a long-limbed puppet whose strings are being shaken, when Kurogane wants to grab those strings and cut them, but to keep shaking, until the mage can’t feel his fingers and has to learn where they are on his own. He thinks this all the time, and he thinks it so long and so hard that eventually, he knows, he’s going to snap; he’s going to snap the strings and grab the mage by his silly, frilly jacket and he’s going to shake the man even sillier before he lets him go again, because he doesn’t understand.

He wants to, though.

That knowledge is, perhaps, the most frustrating of all.

5. Panic! At the Disco; The Only Difference Between Martyrdom and Suicide is Press Coverage

Fai is never sure whether Kurogane is at his most astute when he’s ever so slightly drunk, or whether it’s simply the only time his lips are loose enough for him to state his onservations. He does his best not to let the ninja’s words shake him, but there’s only so much he can do with alcohol in his system, only so many faces he can hide.

“It’s like you’re so used to being ignored that you’ve come out the other side,” Kurogane says, his red eyes disturbingly focused, and there is only so much Yuui can do to juggle it all desperately aside.

6. Super Mario RPG; Still, the Road is Full of Dangers

“Oh, we’ll be just fine,” Fai coos to the well-meaning vendor. “Daddy has a very big sword, and there’s nothing he won’t swing it at. Ne?” he adds to Mokona, and ne? the meat bun echoes with a laugh, and Kurogane has to remind himself very sternly that unsheathing Ginryuu right now would only prove the mage’s point.

7. The Black Mages; The Man With the Machine Gun

There is joy and there is peace in the battle, as there is joy and there is peace in ceremony, in calligraphy, in meditation, in being correct. When he was younger, not quite the man he wanted to be, he had been under the impression that it was the freedom, the heat of the moment, but as he gets older, as he understands more, he realises that this is not what brings him joy on the battlefield.

What endears him to the sword, and the sword to him, is the fact that his decisions are already made. There are things he has vowed to do. And so that freedom turns out to be nothing more than to throw himself forward, never doubting, because he knows that he will win, or die trying, and there can be nothing more joyful or peaceful than that.

8. Akemi Kimura; Pursuit ~ Cornered 2002

There is no feral grin on Kurogane’s face when he approaches his foe for the final time, and Tomoyo smiles and clasps her hands and knows it is because he has grown, because he cared enough to change, that his destiny will remain.

9. Placebo; Peeping Tom

Kurogane can do nothing but sneer when he first meets the mage. It does not occur to him to be proud of how far above such a creature he is; he is simply too disgusted, too bewildered, that a man like that came to be called a man at all. As he watches, that disgust becomes, against his will, a kind of pity – but a pity borne on frustration, still, because if he focuses, he can see the shape of a man, the shape of what might be, and cannot understand why the mage won’t reach into himself to shape it, sculpt it, bring it forth. It makes Kurogane even more determined, and maybe a little sad, because – again, against his will – he likes the man he sees.

10. Tracy Chapman; 3000 Miles

Sometimes there is nothing you can do. Sometimes hitsuzen, which has always been against you in a thousand small ways - which you have, all unknowing, taken a thousand small steps toward making even worse – picks you up and shoves you against a wall and takes everything you thought you were and takes it, steals it, seals it all away.

Kurogane knows this. But he doesn’t know it. Not until he’s walking his beat and he recognises the profile slumped in the alley. Not until he realises, numb, that the face isn’t moving, that where there were twins there is now just one brother, one brother left behind, and his legs will not move fast enough and his paltry whistle will not pierce the distance and bring help fast enough to count.

Sometimes there is nothing you can do.